![]() ![]() The second part – the seemingly endless rounds of classic chord progressions and never-to-be-matched guitar wailing – made it what it is, arguably the greatest rock song of all time. But we will have gained so much more over the time we spent together knowing it would end than had we ended it knowing it wasn’t forever.It’s two songs, really. Sure, it will hurt when one of us decides it’s time to go a different direction. Above all, we’re honest with each other, transparency being the difference between a free spirit and a dishonest sack of shit. We take care of the people we are and inspire each other to be our best selves. We have a Relationship Light kind of deal. I prioritize my local activities and friends and he works on growing his business and plots our next adventure (no more than a week in advance, of course). This doesn’t entail having sex with other men, just keeping myself open to someone more interested in building a life with me. So, I pop onto dating sites once in a while just to look around. Instead, I decided to ask for what I wanted without asking him to change: Could I be a free agent without giving up the Us? He agreed. ![]() We are dubiously conditioned to look for The One when we may benefit a great deal from enjoying The One Right Now. But I’m not ready to leave what is generally a good thing. With the world now emerging from lockdown, I’ve wondered if I should move on from my loving freebird. And though I try not to take a hard line on most topics here, I do believe unequivocally that individual therapy was more beneficial to my happiness in relationships than couples work ever was. Now it’s her wife who is bidding for affection and has become more present and loving without the overt, and often tedious, mediation of a couple’s therapist. She became the committed freebird and gradually her partner woke up. She rekindled friendships, skied and hiked and held up her end of the parenting, letting go of the notion that her wife was responsible for making her happy. My friend instead focused on finding her own happiness. She stopped asking her wife to go to counseling or change who she was in the relationship. Then she decided she could do all those things without leaving her marriage. When a friend in a committed relationship with two young kids was about to throw in the towel on their fifteen year history because of a gradual lack of affection and emotional support, she imagined all the wonderful things she would do with her life again were she single. ![]() In essence, he’s an overall exceptional human, dedicated to his own education in the world. I’ve been a chaser of adventure, never of a person.” Like Cohen, he has been a lover of women, remaining friendly with many of his ex’s and never speaking poorly of them, not even the one who was a verifiable nutcase. As he wrote in a clarifying message, “I’ve been content to enjoy relationships while pursuing life and adventures with the hope that we continue to parallel. He has learned and taught and built and explored all over the world, and has never been inclined to bend his “ one wild and precious life” around the life of another. It doesn’t hurt that he looks like the runner up in a James Bond casting call and makes me laugh so hard I’ve acquired new definition to my abs. He is also one of the kindest men I’ve ever dated, as well as patient, intelligent and an attentive lover. What I love about this freebird man, and what I suspect attracts so many women to his type, is his devotion to the experiences of life, and the infectious enthusiasm this engenders. ![]()
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